Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing.
(1 Peter 3: 8, 9)
It doesn’t seem fair when you look at it from our end, but we have to trust God’s point of view. No matter how the other person acts, we can’t let their bad behavior defile ours, or let bitterness and resentment overtake us. God doesn’t want us to repay evil with evil. We don’t need to match the ungodliness of the other person. We ultimately win when we love, because we’re allowing love to guide our hearts.
I don’t think this means to wimp down and let someone squash us. We don’t honor God as a wimp with a wounded heart. We may need to engage in fair fighting to protect ourselves and those in our care, but never with an evil heart. And who knows? This person or trial may be God’s gift to us to refine our character. We can’t allow what someone isn’t to define what we become. We need to trust God’s perspective, even when it feels like we’re on the operating table without anesthesia.